Stop Rushing Into Bad Relationships & Find Yourself
By: Brionna Benson
It sucks! It is seriously an awful feeling to be single. There’s something that feels worse than that though! It’s heartache, baggage, bitterness, trust issues, loss of self worth, etc. Those feelings can stem from failed relationships and I’m sure many women have experienced these at some point in life. It isn’t fair that we always end up scorned, while men continue on, ruining lives, but we let them. I honestly believe there are ways to try and stop this from happening repeatedly and a way to fully heal from past hurts. The key is to SLOW DOWN!
A lot of us women have been in relationships that we thought would never end; you know, those ones where you feel like nothing even mattered but your significant other and pleasing them? Suddenly, your world is crashing down because the feelings weren’t mutual. Women have this natural tendency to want to feel wanted; which makes us seek attention! We don’t care if it’s good or bad, genuine or phony. It makes people feel good to have validation that someone other than yourself can love you! So once that situationship ends and you aren’t getting that attention, you look for it elsewhere and that ladies, is where we mess up! At this point you are literally suffering from PTSD. You need to take time out to heal and restore yourself QUEEN, for your own health!
Nobody can or will ever love you like you and you can’t love those most precious to you without genuinely and wholly loving yourself.
So when the next punk ass man/fuckboy comes along and doesn’t know how to treat you, you can be readily prepared to curve his ass!
Waiting helps you keep a clear mind, helping you make more rational decisions and allows you to stay aligned with your creators timing.
Get to know yourself. It is important to take time in solidarity to really get to know and love yourself and to realize your worth. What makes you happy? Believe it or not, this is most important step. Do whatever it takes, be it traveling, higher education, finding a hobby, starting a business, strengthening spirituality, therapy, and losing that emotional baggage! When you’re content with you, all of that beautiful you, it will be hard to settle for anything less than what you deserve!
Stop comparing. This is hard to do. I read The Wait by Meagan Good and her husband. She calls this Woman V. Woman and states that ultimately comparing leads you to nothing but drama, depression, and loss of identity. I know the feeling all too well. At one point, I was saying to myself “I have two degrees, a good job, a home, but no man. She doesn’t have what I have but she’s married.” Comparison traps will make you lose sight of what’s real and important. They lead you into rushing to keep up with what the next woman has.
Cut that ***** off. Some people have to go. Friends, family, AND exes! Keep away from the negativity! It might be hard because you may have to cut that “best” friend off who reminds you of how crazy you are for not using what you have to get what you want. You may still want that attention from your ex because deep down you want that validation, even if it’s from him. But there’s a good man out there, who is looking and waiting just for little ol’ you, the best version of you!
Rushing robs you of the lessons needed to reach the next part of your journey in life. So before you decide to jump into something ask yourself, did I take the time out to really get to know that man inside and out? Did I fall in love with his potential instead of taking time out to see him happy, balling, broke, or angry? Am I dating him for the right reasons? Do I love myself enough to wait for the right person? Love should not be a chore or a task to check off. It happens naturally between two people who love themselves and are bound by faith! So, take your time…..